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M. went home and chatted with her online to give her directions and assure her I still wanted her to come. I'm still thinking " this woman isn't going...to drive 2 hours to spend the weekend with me and if she does, she's got to be 500 pounds with a Head like a bastard alligator!" I didn't have very high expectations so I went about my business doing shit that needed done, fixed supper and ate, kicked back to relax and then my phone rang... It was her. " hey, I'm on such and such road, where do I. . my wallet . . ."Damn it!! Where's my wallet?!" I said in frustration.There wasn't much time; I flagged down the oncoming vehicle.A dark green minivan came to a halt right next to me. As Iapproached, the passenger side window rolled down.Inside the vehicle, a good looking man leaned over toward thewindow."What seems to be the problem . . . miss?" he said as his eyesbegan to check me out."My car's dead. I think it's my alternator. I could really use alift" I said."I'm sure you could" he. ’ Nikki added taking a longing glance at the flowers. ‘I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend.’ ‘I don’t.’ Trish responded staring at the flowers. It didn’t make any sense. ‘Then who?’ Karrin started. ‘Sent them?’ Nikki completed. Trish wished she wasn’t being honest when she responded. ‘I don’t know.’ She wished she knew who had bothered to think of her but honestly she couldn’t think of anybody who might care enough to have sent her flowers. Nikki paused for a second realizing that Trish. I went into a cubicle and started to prepare my act. Through the door I could hear the hideous cackling of chav women as the audience started to arrive, and I velcro’d on my bow tie with shaking fingers. The roll of football socks (my substitute dick) were secured over my penis and balls with elastic bands, so even if one of these hags managed to tear down my Speedo’s I would still not be exposed. There was a knock on the door an Maureen poked her head around the door: “We’re ready for you,.
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