I felt like my nightmares were coming true and Iwent totally hysterical at the funeral, shrieking and sobbing likecrazy. But why I got obsessed with c...r crashes in the first place Icannot remember. Maybe that's not so weird. I was only four. But still,I feel like there's some black hole in my life, right there, likesomething terrible, not just my dad, happened that might, I don't know,explain everything. God, listen to me. I sound like a nutter. Nothingmakes sense, right, unless you find the. " Whoa, Susan, calm down for heaven's sake," Pat attempted to sooth her partner's furious, and obviously drunken, spouse. She took Susan's arm and attempted to guide her to a seat at the table. "Now you know that Dennis isn't cheating on you. My God, about the only time he's out of my sight is when he's at home..." Pat's words faltered as her attention was diverted to another new arrival.Susan jerked her arm from Pat's grip. "I know that, you Goddamn home wrecking slut." She took a wild swing. On a beach. He sees me coming towards him and smiles. Wekiss. He's topless, naked but for a pair swimming shorts and a pair offlip-flops. The flip-flops are important; I don't want the fantasy toget side-tracked just because he steps on a sharp stone or ringpull ora poisonous jellyfish or something.God, it really was working. I reach down and touch my... touch myselfthere. It still feels odd to think of it as 'my vagina'. At best, Ican only manage 'the vagina'. I'm moist now, and feeling a lot. "Don't be stupid. I'm not going to let myself fall in love with a stupid man. You know what it says and yet you blame yourself. What did the council say?" I didn't hang around for their decision." You fucking idiot!" She bolted up yelling at him. "Now it makes sense! Do you remember what Ranelus' son said?" Not really, I was concentrating on other matters at the time," Ree'al said defensively."Well I do. You said 'Ree'al, once of the clan Jarnessa' and he said 'What do you mean once?'" Gods! Do.
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