“Did you see the Alyssa Grace video?” Sarah asked.“Which one?” Liz asked.“She went full inbred on Saturday,” Sarah replied. “A surveilla...ce camera caught her peeing in the corner of a nightclub in L.A. and spitting in people’s drinks as she walked past empty tables. It’s totally fucked up.”“She’s a total bitch,” Liz replied, as she’d told me earlier on the day I’d run into her again.“And apparently a stupid one,” Stephanie said. “I know you said things weren’t up for a debate.”“They’re not,”. Sunday had been cathartic, I told Kay everything, all about the dreams, the things I fantasized about. I even showed all the books I'd bought over the years on BDSM that I kept hidden in a box in my closet. It was terrifying, but liberating to finally get that out into the open with someone. And she accepted it without batting an eye. Well, I noticed she got a little squirmy when I was describing my dreams to her. I did too, actually. But she was a rock as I went from distraught to aroused to. For the next hour, I sat in the living room with my thoughts raginguncontrollably through my head. The upcoming 'discussion' with my motherwent through various scenarios in the movie theatre in my brain. Shewould make me throw the clothes away and promise to never wear girlsclothes again, which was a promise I knew I couldn't keep. She wouldcall all my friends and tell them about my secret to expose me,humiliate me, shame me. She would get angry, scream and shout at me, andthen throw me out.. Her family was helping, but it was barely enough to pay the rent and utilities, and she couldn’t bring herself to ask for more. Thirty-five years old and on welfare – she felt like a complete failure at life. She walked down the street toward the bus stop, every step taking her further from the embarrassing door she’d just walked out of. Unfortunately, a young man who had certainly seen her exit was still walking some distance behind, so she wasn’t yet safe. Much to her chagrin, he followed her.
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